howdoiputthisgently:

the-beauty-of-words-blog:

Via/Follow The Beauty of Words Blog

(Source: mydollyaviana)

howdoiputthisgently:

AND AFTER:

My life.

I think it’s time for me to put on my big girl panties, man up, and move on. He obviously doesn’t want to be with me or talk to me or want any part of me in his life. I’m holding on the feelings I have and chemistry between us but this only works if he wants it too. Which he doesn’t. He doesn’t want me. I never fully understood how much I love him or could ever explain it, but now that he’s gone, I sure as hell can feel it. But again, it’s useless if the love isn’t returned. Which it isn’t. He doesn’t love me anymore. He leaves town tomorrow and has not made an effort to see me. That should be my hint right there shouldn’t it? But being the romantic I am I still see hope. I hate that part about me. It makes it so hard to let go of the good things that I know I can fix. I just need him to believe in me, in us. But none of that matters. He doesn’t want me or love me anymore. I need to just give up and forget about him. I need to focus on me, but the more I do that, the more I think about him. The more I want to tell him my accomplishments, the more I want him to be proud of me, the more I want him to just say ‘Damn. That’s my girl, doing great things and I love her.’ Never will this happen and I know it but a girl can dream right? It’s not moving on that’s hard, it’s knowing what I’m leaving behind that’s killing me. I’ve still got some fight in me and I’m not entirely ready to give up yet. Except, I probably should.

Feeling some sort of loneliness tonight. A drive might be in order.